give me my money back, you bitch | "Do you ever just.. lie?" "For the hell of...

"Do you ever just.. lie?"
"For the hell of it?"
"Um, not really for the HELL of it but... not really for a reason either."
"I'm... not sure."
"Well, ok I'll give you an example - the other day someone asked me if I wanted an apple and I said I was allergic and one summer when I was a kid an apple chunk in my fruit salad had been overlooked--it was hidden underneath a strawberry--and when I ate it I went into like, SEVERE anaphylactic shock and almost died. So no thank you, I would not like an apple."
"That's insane!"
"No, it's not. It's not true."
"What?"
"Yeah, it's not true. I just said that."
"Why?"
"Remember when I told you the reason I'm not into dating right now is because I don't want anymore people knowing my stories?"
"Yeah..."
"As soon as they asked me if I wanted an apple I just flashed on that. All of a sudden I felt extremely protective of my fruit preference like it was my goddamn most embarrassing moment from second grade or something. (shrug) So I lied."
"I still don't think I'm getting this--were you one a date?"
"No."
"So what did it matter?"
"I don't know."
"Ok, I get the whole thing about you not wanting to tell your story but you could have easily just said 'No'."
"Ehh. That's boring."